Critical Confabulations

a theatre, film & pop culture review

Post-Oscar Wrap-up: 2010

With only a few minor surprises last night — Precious‘s winning Best Adapted Screenplay (excuse me?) and The Hurt Locker sweeping those sound awards (Sorry, Avatar!) — everything else went off according to plan. Hooray for Hollywood! Let’s break down the evening’s festivities, shall we?


THE TALLY

Which films earned the most — and the least — little gold men.

6
THE HURT LOCKER

3
AVATAR

2
PRECIOUS , CRAZY HEART, UP

1
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, THE BLIND SIDE, THE YOUNG VICTORIA, STAR TREK

0
UP IN THE AIR
, A SERIOUS MAN, AN EDUCATION, THE LAST STATION, INVICTUS, A SINGLE MAN, THE MESSENGER, JULIE & JULIA,  THE LOVELY BONES, NINE, THE IMAGINARIUM OF DR. PARNASSUS, DISTRICT 9, FANTASTIC MR. FOX, CORALINE, THE SECRET OF KELLS, THE PRINCESS & THE FROG


Since the awards failed to excite, let’s check out what did manage to thrill / appall us. And by ‘us’ I mean me.


HIGHLIGHTS:

1. Sandy‘s speech (adorable). And that dress (gorgeous Marchesa).
Also: turning to hug Meryl, apparently changes her mind and does a 180, leaving The Streep with empty, outstretched arms (priceless).

2. Ben Stiller, dressed as an Avatar despite the fact that Avatar was not nominated for Best Makeup (genius). Also brilliant: when plaintively states, “I want to plug in my tail.”

3. Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin’s paranormal activity. Totes brills, and the only amusing moment the uber-awkward hosting duo offers all night.

4. The lovely John Hughes tribute:

When you grow up, your heart dies.
So, who cares?
I care.

5. The mysteriously included horror film tribute. Not sure why it was there, but sure glad it was.
Jaws! The Exorcist! Nightmare on Elm Street! Psycho! Nosferatu! Twilight! — wait, what?

5. Kathryn Bigelow becomes the first woman to win Best Director. Too bad cameras fail to catch ex James “I’m king of the world!” Cameron’s glower as she accepts her golden guy.

6. Fantastically inspired, the League of Extraordinary Dancers interprets each of the nominated scores. It felt like the Tony Awards. But in the best possible way.


Skip the dreadful Zimmer score and go straight to the delightful Fantastic Mr. Fox and Up sequences.

LOWLIGHTS (slash highlights):

1.Neil Patrick Harris’ opening song and dance was totally awkward and unfunny. We love you NPH, but no. Just no.

2. Charlize Theron’s cinnabons.

2. Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin “banter” as the most painfully torpid and unfunny co-hosts ever by simply insulting everyone in the room. It was like that year Chris Rock hosted. Except not funny.

3. George Clooney’s sourpuss mug throughout the entire ceremony. Why so angry, George? Was it part of the dreadfully unamusing act? Or did you finally realize that Up in the Air just isn’t very good?

4. Christopher Plummer, who appeared in three of this year’s nominated films, still has no Oscar to call his own (no other actor this year appeared in more than one nominated film). Shame on you, Academy. Shame. On. You.

5. Miley Cyrus’s posture. We realize your boobs will pop out of that golden gown if you stand up straight, but perhaps you’re not a size 0 after all. Just sayin’.

6. James Cameron’s sloppy look: in Joan Rivers’s immortal words, “He looks like a lesbian.”
There’s no better words to end the night with. Thanks, Joanie.

I had a blast seeing all the nominees this year — 43 features and 15 shorts in all. Thanks for reading. Until next year!

Next Up: The Tony Awards


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4 comments on “Post-Oscar Wrap-up: 2010

  1. Karie
    March 9, 2010

    You forgot one of my favorite lowlights: Sam Worthington can present an Oscar and chew gum at the same time! Perhaps he’s prepping to play a ruminate in his next film… 🙂

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    • Julie
      March 9, 2010

      You are so right. There was another awesomely tacky actress who was chomping away on her gum as the cameras spanned the audience at one point, but I forget now who it was. NO GUM AT THE OSCARS, PEOPLE! I mean, c’mon.

      Like

  2. Aaron
    March 10, 2010

    I think “sullen George Clooney” was a bit. It didn’t work, obviously, but I was pretty sure it was a bit.

    I loved the dancing!!! Especially the Up number even though I am unimpressed by most of that score.

    Like

  3. Julie
    March 10, 2010

    a) *No* one I watched it with thought it was part of a “bit,” which means it was horribly conceived/pulled off. That was one of the worst Oscars openings ever.
    b) You are clearly wrong about Giacchino’s score 🙂 Not only is it entirely magical, but I think he’s just wonderful in general: he writes the fantastically tense/weird music for LOST.

    Like

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